• andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works
    2·
    2 years ago

    Shy anonness was so desperate she tried to ask anon out for a month but felt rejected so hard she moved to China. Press F for a fallen sister.

    • qyron@sopuli.xyz
      1·
      2 years ago

      Bullshit.

      It’s a social - stupid - standing that states romantic/social/sexual advances must be started by the male part, which automatically relegates the female part to a passive/subdued part.

      If you want someone, be bold. Doesn’t matter how you define yourself either.

      I don’t really care if you are shy and can’t speak or any coping mechanism you may have built to justify your awkwardess. Just try.

      Write a note. Have a mutual friend act as a liaison to help the first step. Write a letter. Blurt out the most incoherent speech you can muster. Then say it all again, only ten times slower. Send smoke signals. Use a parrot or a crow. But try.

      It hurts a lot more to punish yourself for not trying, later in your life. Failure and rejection are part of it. Get used to it. Learn from it.

  • PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 years ago

    One girl sat herself across the classroom from me (we had a U-shaped arrangement) and stared at me all year long. (She also talked to me once or twice)
    One girl who was at the same bus station I was at every morning asked me to share a cab with her… for a five-minute ride.
    One girl asked me what it feels like for me when I’m kissing.

    The third one, even though she was the oldest, seemed insincere and was way out of my league anyway, so I didn’t get the impression that she was after me until much later when a friend clued me in. In the other two cases, I did have an idea, but I wasn’t very much into either of these girls and the second one self-sabotaged her otherwise fantastic move by also inviting two of her friends who kept making a loud mess, so I couldn’t even talk to her during the ride anyway.
    And so it took a long time for me to get a real girlfriend. Too high standards, in hindsight, plus I do have no difficulties with talking to girls, but with talking with girls. Turns out the vast majority is just not interested very much in the science-y things I read and did as a tyke, teenager and beyond. Not even in Hegel.

  • General_Shenanigans@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 years ago

    Very similar situation, but in Physics, LOL. My self esteem was so low that I just assumed she was being lazy and taking advantage of me. I KNEW she was smart enough, but she kept asking me for help over and over. I don’t just give people answers, I work through it with them to teach them. Haha, looking back on it, she was probably just enjoying that interaction, meanwhile, I’m stewing inside about how this girl could be so ignorant as to accidentally keep sending me flirty signals and messing with me so she didn’t have to do her work. Funny thing is, I did like her. It just didn’t compute in my teenager brain that a girl would want to talk to me for any reason beyond getting some quiz answers out of me.