Firstly, yeah it’s really hard. The only thing you really want is your hair back and everything short of that will feel like its not good enough. I’m not trying to change any of these feelings, just talking aloud here. Take whatever you want from it.

• Dont underestimate the power of hats! It took me a while but i’ve found a few cute cap styles that are more femme than your standard baseball cap but still very casual and not too “dressy” so i can wear them everywhere. It gives me a bit of a tomboy look and maybe that’s not something you want. But im way more confident in them than i would be without them.

• Everything you’re feeling about wigs is valid and I’m not trying to tell you to feel differently, but I’ll share some of my experiences with wigs in case any of it feels relevant to you:

A huge thing for me was realising how much internalisied crap was knocking around in my head that made me feel things like “it’s not real therefore its bad / cringe” or “everyone else can tell and they all think its cringe”. Examining those feelings in me revealed that they were nothing but internalised bullying, phobias, and other unhealthy social bullshit around what a “real” woman should look like. This poisonous attitude that says only those who win the genetic lottery are deserving of beauty and self-acceptance, and anyone using anything “fake” (fake hair, fake nails, fake tan) is somehow delusional or pretentious or cringe. I do not feel those feelings about other people, even if i did, I’d immediately recognise them as coming from a bad place, but for some reason I expect the rest of the world to feel those things about me. I’m trying to kill my internalised misogyny, transphobia, etc because if i let them win I’d never transition.

Imagine how you’d feel looking at another person who was trying a wig out. Would you sit there and think about them what you thought about yourself? Would you even notice? If so is that a feeling you’d want to nurture or a feeling you’d try to understand and minimise? If your hair looks like a wig, but still makes you look and feel better than rocking the bald look, is that still a bad thing? Why do we feel this way about wigs? Is that coming from a good place? Every person who confidently and unashamedly goes about their days wearing wigs makes it safer and more accepting for all the other people who want to or need to wear them for any reason.

• Finally, I don’t know if you’ve tried this already but some wig specialist places will give you an appointment a lot like you’d get at a hairdresser. You can try on a bunch of stuff, get stuff fitted specifically for you. There are a ton of people in your situation and these places will have helped many of them. The physical sensation with a wig will always be a bit different, a bit intrusive maybe, but my brain can get used to it after a few hours and I even forget I’m wearing anything. Everytime i catch myself in the mirror it makes me happy. Obviously i wish it were just my real hair, but feeling better than i did before is better than feeling shitty constantly, even if it’s not the perfect solution. Small improvements are better than no improvements for me.

None of this is easy, wishing you every happiness in the future, rooting for your intrepid little hair follicles on their journey back, and wishing you smooth sailing in your recovery too. <3.

I really appreciate all the info sharing, i’ll be sure to let you know if i go the auto-injector route.

Hey thank you so much sister. I just realised I had already read your injection guide with great interest and saved it because I knew I would have to come back to it. Thanks for posting, I’m sure it’s helping a bunch of folks.

Have you ever used an auto injector? I’m kindof curious about them but I haven’t heard many women talk about them in here. Maybe I should make a post to ask about it.

Thanks for the advice! I’m a bit freaked out about the injections tbh, but I’m sure I can get over it.

Intake / consult at the hormone doctor booked this week. I’m oscillated between feeling excitement and impatience, then total terror.

A compliment paradox!

From DS9 S01E04

Yes! I hate that the world that we live in makes it so fucking unbearable but I do want to be trans. Being trans is good actually. I fucking love trans people and I would never want to live in a world without us.

Cool username. Also slaay.

Absolutely same for me too. Can’t recommend it enough.

Yeah you got it. Apparently her character was originally written as a transphobic bit (haha wouldn’t it be funny if the socially awkward guy went on a date and it turned out the date was trans), but I think the actor really took it seriously and the writers consulted with trans advocacy groups and they brought on a trans woman to consult formally and make sure Hayley wasnt just a characature. It wasn’t perfect by any means but it was really interesting to compare with now where a trans person’s inclusion would be considered a pure political statement and the hate machine would immediately spin into overdrive.

You did good sis.

Totally not me 2 years ago.

That’s what I want! I think i found a place near me, and I saw a Google review from a trans woman who said they were kind and affirmative. I’m still working up the courage.

You have awesome energy :3

When you bought your nice wig did you spend time getting it fitted? Was there a fitting room and someone to help you pick one out? I feel like having a more personal touch here like you get at high end clothes shops might be useful for me.

I’ve not yet, i might try though now you’ve said it! I wear various cute hats and I guess I have a sortof alt / punk vibe anyway so very short hair can sortof fit.

I really feel you though sister. Male pattern baldness is really brutal for us. It was actually a big part of how I realised I was trans because the dysphoria became unbearable as it started to happen. I appreciate you bringing this question up.

Appreciate this, thank you

I’m still in the cheap wig stage and still very early in transition. I assume I will get more and more frustrated with the quality (right now still just happy to have hair, oh to have been on E 10 years ago). I’m also interested in what the pricey ones might be like.

It was brave to try something out of your comfort zone.