But isn’t that the point? They don’t think that they did something wrong. They didn’t intend to hurt you with their action, which they try to convey to you, but they don’t think that their action was wrong in principle. Like baking an apple pie for a group where someone is allergic to apples and they didn’t know that or simply just forgot. The action of baking a pie is not something to apologize for even if someone felt left out because they couln’t eat it and therefore were hurt.

What would it help if they apologize if they don’t mean it/see what they did wrong? If it wasn’t person As intention to hurt person B, but B insists that person A apologizes, it would result in A apologizing for Bs feelings aka “I’m sorry you feel this way”. I don’t think that that’s better.